Blur
by modernxxmyth
Summary: They were good at this, and they always had been. MarkCallie, Mallie. Hints of MarkLexie and CallieArizona. One-shot.


A/N: I'm on some sort of hardcore Mallie kick lately. I adore them. Spoilers, mild season 6.

DISCLAIMER: Grey's isn't mine. If it were, they'd still be sleeping together. Just saying.

* * *

_**Blur**_

_Today is a crying day, _Callie decided. It had been two and a half weeks since she and Arizona broke up, and she hasn't felt it yet. Not truly. She cried the night it happened, just a touch, on her own here and there, but never did she break down over it like she commonly did. She just pushed past it, ignored the pain, and moved on. Accepted that they wouldn't work. But she hadn't cried much over it when it happened, and two and a half weeks later, she still hadn't. It still hadn't sunk in.

The fight was over something that almost made Callie laugh at the irony: children. They were no where near ready for kids, but the topic of their future together came up, and they talked about what they wanted in life. Callie promised her father kids when he finally accepted her, and it was what she had always wanted. She and Arizona discussed the possibility of "someday" leading to an argument neither had expected.

"I don't want kids," Arizona had stated with finality.

Callie blinked. "You love kids. You are a pediatric surgeon. How can you not want kids?"

"It's just that, Calliope. I see all the terrible things that happen to children every day. I watch the horrors. I love kids, but I could never handle having my own. If I ever had to watch something like that happen to my children, I wouldn't be able to take it."

"But Arizona, the likelihood that something would happen…"

Arizona shrugged. "I don't want kids. I love kids, I love kids so much, but I don't want them. I _can't_ have them."

So Callie cut the chord. She knew as she was doing it that is was premature and maybe even unnecessary because they didn't even discuss it, but she couldn't be with someone who wanted different things, and were they really supposed to be forever anyway? Despite the love she felt towards Arizona, she was subconsciously looking for an out because she somehow deep-down knew that they weren't built to last.

There were tears from both of them and genuine hurt. Arizona was pissed because five minutes before they had been happy and giggly and cuddly, and then suddenly one statement, and they were over.

They would stare at each other in the halls of Seattle Grace with no words.

Callie hadn't felt it yet – the heartache of the break-up – but when she saw Arizona that Tuesday, two and a half weeks after the end, Callie's eyes filled with tears.

_It was a crying day._

She wiped and stray tear and carried on with her day as she always did, despite whatever happened – no matter the divorce, the bitter break-up, or the death of her ex-husband, she always carried on as she was meant to. She had a hip replacement surgery to get to, after all.

She lost the patient. It wasn't supposed to be a high-risk procedure, but the man's heart decided to give out, and no matter the medicine or paddles or shouts of "CLEAR!" the man decided to die. Callie did nothing wrong. Medically, ethically – she followed the book and did everything every other doctor would do. _You can't save them all_, the anesthesiologist told her, and she wanted to laugh. But mostly she wanted to cry.

She called the time of death and fought off the impulse as tears filled her eyes.

_It was a crying day._

Callie ate her lunch by herself at a lonely table in the cafeteria, still desperately trying to keep her eyes from watering up, and she looked up to find Arizona eating lunch at a table with a group of friends.

Callie gave up, stood from the single-seated table, and went off to cry in the on-call room.

* * *

Mark watched Callie leave the cafeteria, a blur of sad posture and glazed eyes, just as he entered it. He'd seen the sadness from her all day but hadn't had the opportunity to do anything about it. He'd had surgery, he'd had Lexie, and he'd had Yang riding his ass all day to get on a case.

Instead of continuing to meet Lexie for their usual lunch, watching Callie leave the cafeteria in such an upset mood, Mark turned around and followed her instead.

"Cal?" Mark called quietly when he opened the door to the on-call room. She was sitting on one of the lower beds, cross legged, staring into nothingness. No one else was in the room, something Mark was sure pleased Callie. She didn't like to break down in front of people. Her back was towards him, and her legs were curled into her chest, her chin sitting on her knees.

Mark sighed and sat down next to her, his legs hanging off the bed and onto the floor. He took in her disheveled appearance. Her eyeliner was smeared and her face was red and puffy. She was crying lightly.

"Hey, Callie," he whispered. "What's going on?"

She sniffled. "I'm having a crying day."

"You're having a…what?"

"A crying day."

"What the hell is a crying day, Torres?"

Callie sniffled and quipped, "It's kind of self-explanatory, Sloan. It's a day where you cry."

"Okay…" Mark said slowly. "But why are you having one?"

"Because Arizona and I are over. Because I lost a patient in a simple hip replacement. Because my ex-husband is dead. Because you and I aren't as close as we used to be. Because nothing is the way that I thought it was supposed to be."

Callie's wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand. Mark grabbed her wrist, and pulled the hand away, replacing it with his own, drying her tears.

"Okay, Torres," Mark spoke softly.

Callie sniffled quietly.

"Come here," Mark gestured and pulled Callie into his lap.

She couldn't help but chuckle under her breath at the action.

"You know," he began, "I miss how close we used to be, too. When was the last time we hung out on our own?"

"Months ago," Callie sighed.

"Well, that's just unacceptable. We will have to change that."

Callie nodded and turned herself around to look at him. "We should do something tonight."

"Joe's?" Mark asked.

Callie looked uncertain. "I don't know. I'm not feeling very social today."

"But Cal, you're always good for a drink. That's why I love you!" Mark exclaimed.

Callie rolled her eyes. "Oh, that the only reason?"

Mark paused and adopted a more serious expression. "No."

Callie bit her lip. Mark loved when she bit her lip. His previous statement in mind, Mark leaned in and kissed her. Callie almost gasped at the contact – the contact she hadn't felt from Mark Sloan's lips in a long time. They were rough and a little chapped, so unlike Arizona's. Callie sunk into the kiss at the feeling, realizing she hadn't kissed a man in ages. She liked the feeling of him, his strong arms and the way he used his tongue in her mouth. They were good at this, and they always had been. It was hard to remember why they hadn't been doing this all along, Callie pondered, and then remembered the answer. She'd been with Erica, then Arizona. He'd been with Lexie. Lexie…he was still with Lexie.

Callie cut the kiss off and pulled out of Mark's embrace and moved to the opposite side of the bed. "Shit," she whispered.

Mark looked guilt-ridden. He scratched his head. "Sorry," he said shortly and quietly.

"I'm going to be that girl, Mark," said Callie.

"I know," he replied a little wistfully.

"You don't understand how much it would hurt Lexie. You don't know. You can't know, can you? You've never been cheated on because you don't' do relationships. But it hurts. Like hell. You saw how torn up I was when George slept with Izzie. When I found out that my husband was having an affair…with his best friend. Can't you see, Mark? It would kill, Lexie. I can't do that to someone. It's been done to me, and I can't do that to someone."

"I know," Mark repeated. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Callie agreed.

"I though I was so reformed, you know?" said Marked. "I thought I was the reformed manwhore. I thought I was done with that. Committed. I am committed. But I just kissed you, Cal! Maybe I can't do committed."

Callie shrugged.

Mark continued, "Maybe I'm just committed to the wrong person."

She refused to look at him. "Go back to your girlfriend, Mark. You love her, don't you?"

"Yes, I love her."

"Then go back to Lexie."

"But I love you, too," Mark claimed.

Callie sighed heavily. "Go back to your girlfriend, Sloan. You can't have both of us. You made a commitment. For once in your damn life, do the right thing."

"You're right," Mark stated.

"I know I'm right," Callie said lightly. "I'm always right."

Mark smiled mutely.

"Go back to Lexie. Go have lunch with her. I'll be fine here."

"Okay," Mark replied reluctantly, getting up off the bed. "Callie?"

"Yeah?"

"Will I see you at Joe's tonight?" There was a tone of pleading in his voice.

"Yeah…you'll see me at Joe's." She knew it probably wasn't a very good idea, what with the afternoon's events, but she gave in anyway.

"Good," Mark turned to leave. "I missed you, you know that?"

Callie smiled. "I missed you, too."

fin.

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Hope you enjoyed. Review please. :) I really hope Mallie happens eventually, don't you?


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